I Just Turned 26. Here Are Some Advice I’d Give to People in Their Early 20s

Lesson #5: Love and friendship are tested not by words, nor even by time

It’s me on my birthday

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Today I turn 26 years old, and naturally, it prompted me to reflect on my journey so far. Life’s taken a slightly more intimidating hue now, yet every time I see my strength, growth, and newfound independence, I find myself filled with admiration.

Navigating through two decades has brought its share of challenges and uncertainties. I find myself grappling with losing old friends, some of whom I no longer share the same country, and others with whom understanding has faded. Thoughts often drift to my parents, and the rapid passage of time with them becomes all the more evident, evoking a sense of longing.

The path to my current position has demanded an incredible amount of power. Pursuing higher education, relocating to a foreign land, mastering two new languages, getting a new stream of income, and nurturing my happiness.

All required relentless effort.

As time has passed, I’ve cultivated my recipe for success, motivation, and personal development within this journey of life. I desired to remember these thoughts and share what I’ve learned so far with all of you.

Lesson #1: You have to take action today

I learned this lesson during my childhood while I was packing my school bag in the evenings. But now I’m talking about more global things. The most regrettable choice is to want to achieve or change something and do nothing about it. Believing that it will change with the passage of time. It won’t!

You won’t earn more money or achieve anything if you do nothing for it!

I wouldn’t have chosen to study a foreign language on my own either; it’s not always enjoyable. Yet, had I not taken that step, I would never have achieved what I have now — wonderful friends who speak English, a higher education, a career, and more.

You have to take action today. Whether it’s changing careers, pursuing further education, or learning a foreign language — take a step today for a better tomorrow.

Note: Remind yourself of these words daily.

Lesson #2: Life is not only black and white

I’ve lived by this principle for a long time, and to be honest, I still sometimes do. It’s that feeling when there’s no middle ground. When you fail an exam, the first thing you think is that you’ll be immediately kicked out of the university, and if you make a mistake at work, you’ll be fired right away.

You’re either happy or upset.

And it’s a very detrimental feeling. You don’t fully enjoy life, and you’re constantly worried about the future. In psychology, they advise you to take a simpler approach to everything, and I’m still learning to do that.

Lesson #3: “Where everyone is hunched, slimness becomes deformity”

It took me some time to understand this, and that it’s not about being slim at all. We all, one way or another, adapt to the place we live in, and we don’t even notice it. But as soon as you change something, you see how everything changes with you. And that’s normal. And you don’t have to adapt every time. You shouldn’t!

When I lived in Ukraine, I got used to the fact that all the girls always dress up like on a catwalk, without exception, and I started to do the same. And when I moved to Austria, I saw a different life, and I stood out from the locals. My excessive habit of dressing up as if for a runway show, even when I was just going out to take out the trash, was pointless. You become a white crow (an outsider).

You’ll never please people! Never! Live in a way that’s comfortable for you!

Lesson #4: You can’t plan your whole life

This principle remains effective even as you age. Foreseeing your life five years ahead of the line is a tricky task. It rarely unfolds as expected.

That’s why I recommend relinquishing the notion that you can predict and plan your life. Plans might change anyway. Half a year ago I was planning to work a regular job, but today I write articles and earn with him more than on a regular job. And I did not plan it as well.

Conquer the urge to tightly steer the trajectory of your life. This process is referred to as “growth” or “development.” Strive to not always treat yourself with excessive seriousness.

Life is an adventure, not an exercise for the show!

Lesson #5: Love and friendship are tested not by words, nor even by time

Words mean nothing if actions show the opposite. And time won’t reveal the strength of a friendship or a relationship.

I had been friends for a long time with someone who was the first to drag me down when I began to achieve something. No amount of years or words could compare to the weight of the moment when I was left alone without support.

And there were people who never once told me they loved me — but they did much more than those who said it a million times.

For that reason, I derived the following rule:

Lesson #6: Learn to say “no”

Learn to say “no” to people, actions, and obligations that do not add value to your life. Do not endure them for the sake of financial gains. Do not endure them for emotional reasons. You only have one life.

In the world, there will always be people worth befriending, so there is no reason to spend your time with people who will not support you on your life journey.

And the same rule works with a job. Do not “burn out” in a place where you feel bad. There are much more places where you can find yourself and feel better.

Lesson #7: Always have a Plan B.

This is exactly what helped me feel lighter and more confident. When I thought I might be expelled from university, fired from my job, or left without a place to live — I always had a second plan. For instance, another country where I would gladly go to build my life and contribute to its well-being. I always had an alternative job option to fall back on, where I could return if needed. And a certain amount of money to sustain me initially.

A plan B is incredibly important.

Lesson #8: Keep a healthy diet and do regular sport

It’s the most valuable advice that I also didn’t quite understand two years ago. Why bother if everything is already fine with me? However, I kept saying that until the moment I started exercising and felt great.

Later, I realized how foolish I had been. Without exercise and proper nutrition, my body began to show signs of distress within a year. What will happen when I’m 30 or 40 years old?

Once I resumed exercising, I found it harder than maintaining the level of fitness I once had. Starting is always tougher. So, simply accept the fact that you need to take care of your diet and engage in physical activity ALWAYS, throughout your life. Just like you wash your face in the evening and in the morning. It’s equally important.

Lesson #9: Stay open to communication

The people I’ve been fortunate to meet have changed my entire life. Each person brings something into our lives, and it’s true when they say you should surround yourself with those you want to become. It’s incredibly important!

I wouldn’t be writing this article now if I hadn’t met my wonderful friend, who introduced me to Medium and with whom I learned English. I wouldn’t have started reading so many books as I do now if my other friend hadn’t shown me how important and interesting it is.

The point I’m making is that every person brings something into our lives, more or less. But it’s that ray of light that is sometimes much needed. Make new connections and be open. Whenever possible, also share your knowledge with others and help. Help is priceless!

Lesson #10: Talk to yourself

I mean, create a list of questions and answer them honestly. You’re doing this for yourself.

This practice helped me understand what I’m really looking for in a job/partner/friend. I simply sat down and asked myself questions like what qualities I see in my friend, and what I’m not willing to compromise on or make concessions for. What matters to me in daily life or at work, and what I absolutely dislike and won’t do.

And you know what? It made my life easier. I already had a prepared list that I could voice to myself or another person. It feels like having a cheat sheet for an exam because I already had the answers in hand. And these answers were absolutely accurate because I have done them by myself.